Hot Stuff

I like hot stuff.

Eating a really hot pepper is kind of like having an out of body experience. First, your teeth crunch down and you know you're in for something big but you don't know exactly what. The heat hits and you wonder if you are going to live through the pain. Your heart races, your throat burns, you start to sweat, your eyes tear up...

and then the hiccups.

But as the pain begins to pass, you relax... I mean really relax. The body seems to vibrate and you get a feeling as if you've reached a mountain peak. It's a natural high.

I've eaten many peppers and met many dares. And I've learned a couple things about eating peppers.

First, have plenty of milk on hand. Milk coats the stomach and eases the burning. Ice water doesn't hurt either. If the burning persists, ice cream works well.

Second, have a little food in your stomach. Hot peppers in an empty stomach will hurt for a long time. As you can imagine, too much food in your stomach is not a good thing either.

Thirdly, and most importantly, wash your hands after touching any pepper. Whatever you do, do not touch your eyes. That was a tough lesson to learn.

The Scoville scale is a measure of the hotness of a pepper. The scale ranges from a regular bell pepper which is 0 Scoville heat units (SHUs), to the hottest known pepper, the Naga Jolokia which has been rated at 1,041,427 units.

That's about four times as hot as the hottest pepper I've eaten. As a pepper adventurist I would have to try a Naga Jolokia if given the opportunity.


Here are a few favorite peppers I have tried:


The Jalapeño Pepper is nice and mild and good for everyday cooking. Almost anyone can eat a Jalapeño. It has so many uses. One of my favorite drinks is some lime and fresh Jalapeño muddled with a shot of Patrón Tequila and chilled... Delicious. The jalapeño is rated at a mild 2,500 to 10,000 SHUs.

The Habanero Pepper is much hotter and goes well with Mexican food. The pods are pretty hot and can be removed from the pepper to get a better sense of its flavor. Leave the pods in for an intense experience. They come in different colors. I've had green, yellow, orange and red. It packs a hefty 200,000 to 300,000 Scoville units.

The Thai Chili Pepper is a tiny pepper. It's sweeter than a Habanero. It has a wonderful flavor and packs quite a punch. I like to slice a few up and put them in a quesidilla with some finely sliced raw purple garlic. It ranks around 50,000 to 100,000 Scoville units.

The Cayenne Pepper is pure heat. It is commonly known as red pepper. While it rates much lower than other peppers in SHUs, it has less flavor and is just plain hot. It rates around 30,000 to 50,000 Scoville Units.

Here are some of my favorite hot sauces...


Frank's Red Hot Sauce is the old standby of hot sauces. It's often used in Buffalo wing sauces and is good on almost anything. It is mild and has a vinegar base.

El Yucateco Habenaro Chili Sauce is found at many Mexican style restaurants. It comes in green or red (I prefer the green). I like to put a drop on each bite. My old friend Dino is an El Yucateco fanatic, he keeps a large bottle in his glove box.

Sriracha is a Thai-style hot sauce. It's sweet, garlicy and most of all, hot. This stuff is so delicious, I put it on anything and everything: pizza, soup, grilled cheese, Chinese, quesidillas, cheese and crackers, believe it or not, I love it on a bagel with cream cheese... it goes with just about anything.

Jersey Death Sauce... this stuff is just wrong. It's two main ingredients are habanero pods and cayenne. I find it useful once and a while when I need to take the heat to the next level, and even then I am only good for a small drop. Oh yeah... It's great for dares or pranks too.